What Women Want

We are so excited to see more and more research that focuses on women, especially when it hits on female desire and sexuality. A recent article in the New York Times discusses the question that Freud made famous, "What Do Women Want?" and puts some really valuable points out in the open.

While there is so much to be taken from this article, we'll mention one study of particular relevance. Meredith Chivers, scientist and psychology professor, conducted a study where she showed groups of men and women different clips of video: both hetero- and homosexual sex, self pleasuring acts, nude men and women, and even bonobo monkeys having sex. Their state of arousal was measured objectively, through a plethysmograph (a device that measures gential blood flow to determine one's state of arousal), and subjectively through a rating system that allowed the subjects to rate how aroused they felt after each clip.

The results? In both hetero- and homosexual male subjects, the responses on the rating system were in agreement with what the device showed their physical state of arousal to be. With the women, it was a different story. Women of all sexual orientations showed arousal during ALL of the clips, but what they reported on the rating system was much different. In most cases, they reported much less arousal than what their physical signs were showing. As author Daniel Bergner put it, "...with the women, especially the straight women, mind and genitals seemed scarcely to belong to the same person."

What does this mean to us? It highlights the fact that female desire is not predicated on pure physical arousal alone. Rather, it's the connection between the physical, emotional, and psychological parts that come together to really turn a woman on. It's something we at Laughing Sage have been working on with women for years: teaching them how to forge the connection between mind, heart, and body in the sexual arena and in all areas of their lives.

So what is the one thing preventing you from having better love and sex?? Mind-body disconnect. So for all of you ladies out there who want to spice up your sex lives or rediscover a long lost libido, we have some advice. Stop asking "what is wrong with me?" and start tuning into the signals your body gives you, explore what turns you on, and get to the core of your fullest desires.

If you are feeling stuck in this area and want to learn how you can make immediate improvements to your relationships, sex life, and emotional well-being, don't miss our FREE TELECLASS next Tuesday February 10th at 7:30pm. Be prepared to get everything you've ever wanted!

Click here to register!

Kathryn Hefter

At the start of LSW I was not sure what I was looking for. I knew I had painful periods, a hectic lifestyle, irregular eating and was looking for a bit of clarity and coaching for those areas of my life. I knew if I had some lifestyle coaching I could possible see some dramatic changes in my life. I already owned a successful Pilates studio in Fairfield County, have a wonderful husband of 1 1/2 years and am in great shape...I truly thought I had everything under control. I later found that this control was what was causing all the problems!

Soon after starting my LSW program, I discovered that my lack of self-care was making me a resentful, dehydrated, undernourished woman. Following their simple recommendations, within 6 sessions at LSW I had developed a much better relationship with my body and my husband because I was honoring myself. It was wonderful! When I actually slowed down and looked at where my life was going I realized that I wanted a baby. This was NOT what I had expected to find out about myself through this program, BUT, of course all the time honored for myself and my husband....we were pregnant within a month! So here I am now 3 months pregnant, not at all where my mind told me I would be before starting the program.

What I have taken from this program ( and I'm not done yet!) is to honor my cycle, my own rhythm, and listen to my heart instead of my head. My head would have given me all the reasons not to get pregnant and if I hadn't started listening to my body and my heart, I know that I would not be pregnant now. I did not know how to access the tools reach this choice before Laughing Sage and I am so grateful for this program. This baby is on it's way because I made space for it. There was no room with my hectic, controlling lifestyle 6 months ago. ! I know that I will be a successful mother, wife and business owner because I have been shown how to use the tools that I already had. I feel like I am in the flow of my life now.

In tough times, keep the focus on YOU

There's so much going on in the world right now - the economic downturn, the presidential transition, the environment - and all of it certainly deserves our attention - but these issues should not STEAL you away from your first priority, which is a commitment to your own well-being. It's so easy to get caught up in the sensationalism of the news and the stress that it brings - but it is up to you to decide how much of it will occupy your thoughts on a day to day basis. Certainly give it some thought - it's healthy, it allows you to adjust to the world around you on a personal level - but don't abandon your self-care during these moments of greater stress. Doing this only leads to more struggle. With time, the economy will correct itself, the new president will take over, more businesses will go green, and where will the state of your health be when the pendulum swings? Will you be entering better times with good health or find yourself with a health crisis to attend to? The behavior and habits you cultivate now will dictate your future reality.

We at Laughing Sage not only are here to help support you in your desire to keep doing good things for your health, but we also appreciate that you harbor a belief that has you pull back on investing financially in yourself when things get crazy out there in the big, big world. SO, in honor of you and your health future, we have not only created 3 amazing new shorter sweeter programs, but we also sweetened the pricing so you can still enjoy taking care of yourself while the world is going through it's more stressful cycle. From Cooking Classes for the kitchen goddess in you, to virtual group programs on how to have a better relationship and better sex life, to bringing back an old favorite - the life changing Metamorphosis group teleclass - there is something for everyone's need and budget.

Listen, stress happens, layoffs happen, budgets tighten, the world rethinks how it's doing things, and we all have to adjust - just remember that this too shall pass and how you treat yourself along the wilder ride is absolutely up to you. We hope we see you in our newer programs!!

Supporting your best future health,
alisa

Long Live Soup

Over the weekend I saw the movie The Tale of Despereaux, an animated film about a tiny but courageous big-eared mouse who ends up saving a princess and bringing a whole kingdom back to life. Aside from basking in its heartwarming triumph (cue the violins), what I found so fascinating was how passionate this kingdom was about soup. Yes, soup. Every year the royal chef would prepare a new specialty soup and the people in the town would celebrate by parading around wearing vegetables hats and carrying banners that read, “LONG LIVE SOUP.” But after an unfortunate accident one year, the king banned soup from the kingdom forever and nature responded by stealing the sunshine away, leaving permanent gloomy clouds with no rain. The people of the kingdom became sad and lifeless, and the princess stayed locked up in her tower, longing for happier days. And do you know what made things shift? When the chef finally decided he had enough and started making soup anyway. The aroma from his kitchen infused the whole kingdom and brought the life back to its people. The hovering clouds finally broke into raindrops and later parted to let in the sunlight. The “LONG LIVE SOUP” banner was brought out once again and the whole town rejoiced. The reason why I share this here is to point out the fact that such a simple, traditional act of making soup could be so revolutionary, so subversive, and so lifesaving. Call me a romantic, but it makes me want to start chopping veggies now!

As we here at Laughing Sage and all of our clients can attest to, without support, reinforcement and encouragement from others, it’s hard to keep making soup in a land of take out menus and restaurants at every corner. Without the inspiration of new ways to combine food, different veggies to try, or new condiments to revive, its easy to get bored and give up. So that’s why I’m so thrilled to be putting together the first official Laughing Sage Cookbook and also teaching cooking classes at our center in 2009. (email me for more details, or to sign up - jessica@laughingsagewellness.com)

In a culture where everything is telling us to look outside of ourselves for answers – from the doctor’s magic pills to Cosmo’s guide to good sex – it really is a bold and courageous act to be in your kitchen with the roots, sprouts and bounties of our earth and to create a pot of self-nourishment with your own two hands. I believe that soup really can change the world. But don’t take my word for it – get in the kitchen and see for yourself.

Check out the articles and recipes in this week's newsletter for some great ways to stay centered and nourished over the holidays!

Turning You On to Yourself

So there you are, on a date, in a romantic situation, physical even, and your libido is lagging! You're not 'feeling it', you're in your head, you're distracted, and you're frustrated by the whole experience because you want to be enjoying yourself but you're stuck - like a cd skipping. This is not a recipe for romance for sure! How many of us want to be having better sex lives and have access to more of our libido but we feel as if all the things we're doing get in the way? We're working hard, we're taking care of the people we love physically and emotionally, we bear the stress of others, we let everything in and at the end of all this "doing" there's no room for the experience of our own selves left! This is why by the time we get to romance and sexuality, it's not what we want it to be. This is why low libido is such a big issue for women.

So there I was recently, about to have dinner with someone special, but I had just gotten into a tremendously stressful conversation with someone the day before. Try as I had, to move it out of my body, to exercise, to vent to friends - the residue of the stress was still all over me. So, as much as I wanted to get connected to my date, there was too much distance. By trying not to bring this up, I was denying myself my own experience! In order to move into being reconnected to my body, so I could get back into pleasure, I had to embrace this experience without judgment, just like I would embrace any thing else that was positive. So I decided to let myself all in while he was there to witness. I let this experience of sharing about the stressful encounter pass through me, like the weather, with him as a witness and then what do you know, the next experience began to pass through me, and before long, I was out of my head, back in my body, and enjoying a very flirtatious dinner conversation!

This is the power of the practice of experiencing yourself. Experiencing yourself means you let all of you 'come to dinner' consciously, you stop trying to "do" things and you start "being" fully yourself. It's a more open, emotionally intimate, and beautifully vulnerable way to be - it is inherently sensual and pleasurable. This way, by the time you're getting to the part where you could be physical, you will not find yourself disconnected, tense, and closed off - but you will find yourself instead, really able to pay attention to the subtle nuances of sensation, the experience of whichever moment you're in, and that will absolutely turn you on and allow you to nurture and strengthen your libido without judgment and with a desire to explore more of your own experience. It is of course very much in line with LSW's definition of womanhood too;)

Read more about how to support your libido in my featured article in the Huffington Post.

in light,
Alisa

KC Baker

When I turned 25, my health suddenly started going down the tubes. I was chronically stressed out. I lived all the time in an ever-fluctuating world of emotional turbulence. My skin was very broken out in acne. And my periods were terrible.

Eventually, a dear friend suggested that I contact Alisa to see if she could help. At the time, the six-month program felt like a lot of money to me, but I realized that being successful in my life was dependent upon my health, so I made the investment to work with Alisa privately for those six months.

Something amazing happened during that time. She helped me transform my relationship to my body. I began to really talk to my body.
Food became a source of nourishment and joy, instead of angst. My skin's health improved. And I began to really see where I was letting boundaries get crossed all the time in my life in various relationships. Alisa guided me in developing a very healthy and beautiful relationship with my anger, and I am now excellent at speaking my truth in the moment when a boundary has been crossed.

I now know that unless I get outside and lie down in the grass or walk under the moon during the days before my period, I will have an unpleasant period. So, having quality communion with nature during that time before my period has become a tradition every month in my life, and my relationship to my womanhood and nature has deepened significantly.

Alisa taught me how to more fully nurture myself, and it impacts every area of my life. My life is richer, healthier and more beautiful because of it, and I feel profound gratitude. My hope is that every woman has access to the incredibly valuable wisdom and guidance of Laughing Sage Wellness.

Support Your Vagina!

There is so much I want to share with you ladies. LSW is undergoing major changes and it's amazing to witness it all. We've moved as most of you know into our fabulous feminine center in midtown Manhattan, and we are preparing to offer women all over the country more bite size portions of our work. More media opportunities are coming my way as well, and it's thrilling to visualize sharing with more women from a larger platform. We will be able to support more women, more quickly, than ever before and I'm so excited to be able to create this!

All this being said, after reading the article below about the medieval torture a woman endured who simply wanted a normal GYN exam, I feel even more strongly that LSW's mission to advocate for and destroy myths about women's health care is needed now more than ever.

We all have these stories although perhaps not as extreme. I can remember a few years back that I was kept waiting for a 2pm doctor's appointment until 5:30pm. I hadn't brought anything in case my blood sugar dipped and it did, of course. By the time I sat down in front of the doctor, who was a woman, I was so furious and so hypoglycemic, that I expressed my anger and frustration through some moderate tears. Her only reaction to this was to ask if I was suffering from depression and if I'd like to be prescribed prozac!!! You can only imagine what an earful I gave her. I doubt she'd ever utter a sentence of that persuasion again this lifetime ;)

You see, women, there is so much that is unacceptable that occurs to women in the medical environment. We need to learn how to become our own best self-health experts and health care advocates. It's my privilege to help our clients develop this for themselves. It starts with the simplest, daily, mundane activities that create an accumulation of self care that changes our future.

One of the simplest ways you can start right now building this new healthy powerful future for yourself is to become a charter member of our new VIP newsletter.
Imagine what having the right information does for you when you do your banking... In the same way, you can't afford not to have the right information when it comes to really taking care of your health when the GYN route fails.

If nothing else, you'll be supporting the work that we do and keeping us moving forward in our mission to change health care for women nationwide. There's a link below that makes it all as simple as a click of a button; I really hope you do so.

We can't do it without you.

With love and gratitude for your support,
Alisa

"Don't abandon yourself on the way to your dreams, keep space in your life to nurture yourself daily."
~The Laughing Sage