Loving Yourself into a New Season

Ladies, how have you all been? I trust that the end of your summer was absolutely delightful! I have been traveling for the last month, working on the first LSW book and spending time recharging my batteries at the beach in cape cod with people I care about and with friends on the west coast. I of course couldn't pass up an opportunity to attend a fabulous conference in LA as well - so it has been a whirlwind of a month for sure and I'm SO excited to be back home in NYC in our beautiful new center. It is truly a sanctuary for the feminine as we have always envisioned!

As we continue evolving and integrating the conversation and the concept of the feminine in our selves and our lives - it begs one question of course - which is WHAT IS THE POINT?
Surely, there's a part of you that feels as if you've been doing just fine on your own by overly relying on your masculine energy. Doing, doing, doing (and avoiding) seems to go well on the surface. Things break down in your body, reproductive health issues arise. We at LSW have pointed this out to you for a while now, so I won't be redundant here.
Ladies, friends, sisters - there is only one thing that will make this transition worth your effort. I know this and you know this. It is, of course, LOVE.

Are you in love with your life? Are you actively loving yourself daily? Do you have emotional intimacy with whomever you choose? Do you feel the gentle current of the universe pulling you in the direction of your future with the most delicious serendipitous encounters? Do you do only what matters to you and let people and situations go with grace that do not serve your highest good?
Are you freed up internally from old restrictive programming such that you consciously create an ever expanding future?

Ladies, friends, sisters - this is what developing a relationship with your feminine energy creates. It's big, it's majestic, and it's love-filled! I can only speak from personal experience of course, so I'll share that in the years that I have been consciously living this balance between my masculine and feminine energies - not only has my reproductive health been fantastic, but my life has become more abundant, more serendipitous, more expansive. I have deep connections with those I spend time with and I am unabashedly myself all of the time. I love openly without concern for what I might "get" out of it and more for the extreme pleasure it brings me to feel my feelings. I am gentler with myself , honest about what I want and need, and grateful for my self care practices.

It isn't complicated to get here, but it does require a rewiring of a few things inside of you. I hope to see you at the upcoming Spa Day workshop on the Principles of Feminine Energy, so we can continue this conversation. There are only a few spots left, so be sure to get in touch with us today!

What's Wrong with Being Sad?

From Wal-Mart’s falling prices logo to smiling celebrities touting the latest new product, there exists a media-generated and societal-influenced fear of unhappiness. Society is built around the notion that everyone, especially women, should be happy. The world shouts at you from every angle, “if you aren’t happy, something must be wrong with you!” followed by a list of “remedies,” which typically involve spending money and popping a pill.

There is a long legacy of eviscerating a woman’s reaction to life through medication. From “mother’s little helper” to the benzos of today, women are being sedated by a drug culture. Certainly these mood-altering drugs do have their place. For those with major mood imbalances, they can be lifesavers. However, today’s average woman is being overprescribed to. To fully understand the medication trend, let’s take a look at a few key drugs on the timeline.

1956- Miltown, the first “psychiatric wonder drug” became an overnight phenomenon, selling out in nearly every drugstore. Psychiatrists and drug companies underestimated Miltown, thinking that people would go for talk therapy instead. This drug was marketed to women struggling with the rigors of motherhood.

1963- Valium, in the Guiness Book of World Records for the most prescribed drug of all time, was touted as “Mother’s little helper,” and even got its own theme song by The Rolling Stones. Still a popular drug today, many people take Valium continuously for years, though Valium only provides anxiety relief for around four months.

1970- Lithium, a drug that had been used to treat a variety of illnesses unsuccessfully since its discovery in 1817, was approved by the FDA for mania. It has since been used to treat a variety of mood and psychiatric disorders, including premenstrual depression. No one knew why or how lithium worked until 1998.

1987 and 1991- Prozac and Zoloft, the first “safe” antidepressants, were introduced and mass marketed to consumers. Zoloft was approved to treat premenstrual dysphoric disorder in 2003. Later that year, Pfizer, the company producing the drug, launched its “Zoloft for Everything” campaign, along with a questionnaire on lack of motivation for typical household chores and women hanging their heads. (and just so we’re all aware of how far this brand name has come, my computer officially recognizes “Zoloft” as a properly spelled word…and even capitalizes it automatically)

2008- what new drug is on its way to our mouths?

You work, you think…you are a participant of life! Stress, anger, frustration, and yes, even unhappiness, are natural byproducts of living. Why dissolve a vibrant, natural part of yourself? There is such a negativity that has been built around emotional expression, whether it’s laughter, sadness, fear, or any other ‘feeling’. “Don’t laugh too loud- people are staring.” “Lower your voice! People will hear you.” “Don’t cry- you’ll make yourself sick.” Isn’t it time to be free of your fear and shame of feeling? Of course!

To do so, you must learn to be your authentic self, which means ENJOYING and EXPLORING your unique emotional palette! Don’t let opinions of yourself weigh you down, whether they’re coming from your own self, others, or mega-society. Use your strength as a woman to break through opinions and stereotypes and express yourself freely. Let out your laughter, your screams, and your tears. These responses are gifts, not burdens.

You must also learn HOW you best express yourself. Are you a writer? A pianist? A painter? A chiseled athlete? Feelings don’t have to be confined to expression through spoken words or audible exclamations. Feelings can be expressed through music, a basketball game, dancing, screaming into a pillow, or doing one’s nails. The possibilities are endless!

This week, explore your emotions. When it comes, be with it. Work with it. Play with it. Happy, sad, surprised, agitated…express yourself in a creative way until the feeling wanes. Then let it go, and be willing to accept the next wave of emotions to swim with.

Practicing Feeling

Do you automatically default to the “fine” response when someone asks “how are you?”
How often do you take the time to check in with how you really are?

Aside from the problem we may have with expressing our feelings, many of us don’t even give ourselves the chance to feel our feelings, instantly squashing them through the use of food, alcohol, or other substances and behaviors before they even get near the surface.

Our emotions create physical sensations in our bodies, powerful messages that gage the situations and people around us like an internal thermostat. When we are engaged with these messages, we have access to a new mode of making decisions and relating to others that is literally life-changing.

Take a minute after reading this to sit back, close your eyes, and breath. Place one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly and see what comes up for you. What kind of sensations do you experience and where do they show up in your body? Not feeling anything? Be patient, listen, observe. If you are out of practice, it will be like learning a new language. Once you are able to feel something, keep breathing and be with it. The feeling may shed light on a certain situation that's been hanging over you, it may inspire you to call a friend and share something, it may just simply make you want to cry, smile, or hug someone. Whatever it is, find a way to let it speak through you and then thank your body for communicating.

Use this technique at any time of day when you get stuck in the whirlwind of your mind’s anxious thoughts or when you feel plagued with indecision, boredom, or confusion. Before you run to the fridge, before you reach for the pills, before “fine” has a chance to roll off your tongue, drop into your body and listen. Then choose how you want to act.