Turning You On to Yourself

So there you are, on a date, in a romantic situation, physical even, and your libido is lagging! You're not 'feeling it', you're in your head, you're distracted, and you're frustrated by the whole experience because you want to be enjoying yourself but you're stuck - like a cd skipping. This is not a recipe for romance for sure! How many of us want to be having better sex lives and have access to more of our libido but we feel as if all the things we're doing get in the way? We're working hard, we're taking care of the people we love physically and emotionally, we bear the stress of others, we let everything in and at the end of all this "doing" there's no room for the experience of our own selves left! This is why by the time we get to romance and sexuality, it's not what we want it to be. This is why low libido is such a big issue for women.

So there I was recently, about to have dinner with someone special, but I had just gotten into a tremendously stressful conversation with someone the day before. Try as I had, to move it out of my body, to exercise, to vent to friends - the residue of the stress was still all over me. So, as much as I wanted to get connected to my date, there was too much distance. By trying not to bring this up, I was denying myself my own experience! In order to move into being reconnected to my body, so I could get back into pleasure, I had to embrace this experience without judgment, just like I would embrace any thing else that was positive. So I decided to let myself all in while he was there to witness. I let this experience of sharing about the stressful encounter pass through me, like the weather, with him as a witness and then what do you know, the next experience began to pass through me, and before long, I was out of my head, back in my body, and enjoying a very flirtatious dinner conversation!

This is the power of the practice of experiencing yourself. Experiencing yourself means you let all of you 'come to dinner' consciously, you stop trying to "do" things and you start "being" fully yourself. It's a more open, emotionally intimate, and beautifully vulnerable way to be - it is inherently sensual and pleasurable. This way, by the time you're getting to the part where you could be physical, you will not find yourself disconnected, tense, and closed off - but you will find yourself instead, really able to pay attention to the subtle nuances of sensation, the experience of whichever moment you're in, and that will absolutely turn you on and allow you to nurture and strengthen your libido without judgment and with a desire to explore more of your own experience. It is of course very much in line with LSW's definition of womanhood too;)

Read more about how to support your libido in my featured article in the Huffington Post.

in light,
Alisa

KC Baker

When I turned 25, my health suddenly started going down the tubes. I was chronically stressed out. I lived all the time in an ever-fluctuating world of emotional turbulence. My skin was very broken out in acne. And my periods were terrible.

Eventually, a dear friend suggested that I contact Alisa to see if she could help. At the time, the six-month program felt like a lot of money to me, but I realized that being successful in my life was dependent upon my health, so I made the investment to work with Alisa privately for those six months.

Something amazing happened during that time. She helped me transform my relationship to my body. I began to really talk to my body.
Food became a source of nourishment and joy, instead of angst. My skin's health improved. And I began to really see where I was letting boundaries get crossed all the time in my life in various relationships. Alisa guided me in developing a very healthy and beautiful relationship with my anger, and I am now excellent at speaking my truth in the moment when a boundary has been crossed.

I now know that unless I get outside and lie down in the grass or walk under the moon during the days before my period, I will have an unpleasant period. So, having quality communion with nature during that time before my period has become a tradition every month in my life, and my relationship to my womanhood and nature has deepened significantly.

Alisa taught me how to more fully nurture myself, and it impacts every area of my life. My life is richer, healthier and more beautiful because of it, and I feel profound gratitude. My hope is that every woman has access to the incredibly valuable wisdom and guidance of Laughing Sage Wellness.